


The Little Things Give You Away

by seagreen-meets-grey (haddxck)



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M, M.E. Time, and his date left, cold opening, has anyone noticed the outfit of amy's date, it's the same that amy and charles once wore at the same time, no matter what laiba says, this is a Pile Of Crap, well this is his date's take on the whole thing, when amy was on a date and jake called her from a few tables behind her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 19:19:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11881101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haddxck/pseuds/seagreen-meets-grey
Summary: The moment Jake Peralta realized they were having dinner at the same place as his colleague, Lisa knew her night was doomed.Jake's developing a huge crush but he doesn't even know it yet.





	The Little Things Give You Away

**Author's Note:**

> I recently started my umpteenth rewatch of the entirety of B99 and realized I had totally forgotten about this cold opening in "M.E. Time" where Amy's on a date and gets a call from Jake who's sitting a few tables behind her. I bet you guys remember. It's hilarious. Anyway, Jake ruined his own date for the sake of teasing Amy, way before their bet ended. And so I wrote this.
> 
> (Title is also a song by Linkin Park. R.I.P. Chester.)

The moment Jake Peralta realized they were having dinner at the same place as his colleague, Lisa knew her night was doomed – although at first, this date seemed like a good idea. She had been in an on-and-off-relationship with her laptop for the past few weeks and a night out sounded appealing – her friend Jessica had been nagging her to go with her to this bar she discovered – _Shaw’s_ – anyway. And Jake seemed nice, he was funny and good-looking and his cop stories made him appear like a cool guy. He bought her a drink and told her how many cases he’d already closed this year (and frankly, since she had no idea if that was good in comparison to how much a cop like him should actually get done in a couple months, she just assumed it was impressive, judging from the smug look on his face). When he suggested going out some time, smiling at her under the dim lights of the bar, she mentally thanked Jessica for being a tenacious little gadfly.

She ended up waiting almost half an hour in front of _da Giacomo_ where they were supposed to meet. People were passing by, climbing the stairs to the restaurant, leaving, walking past her on the sidewalk, almost splashing muddy water on her red dress every couple seconds. She envied the pretty Latina with the gorgeous dark brown hair who arrived shortly after her but only had to wait, like, three minutes until her date showed up.

Lisa was just thinking about leaving when he finally turned the corner, out of breath and with an apologetic look on his face.

“Lisa… so glad you’re… still here… So sorry…” he got out while bending over as if he’d just run ten miles. She let him catch his breath, waiting for a good reason for her to not go home on the spot, internally cursing Jessica. “Got stuck at work. Something came up and my partner had already left and everyone else was busy so I had to take care of it alone.” He flashed her that big grin of his. “But since I’m such an amazing cop, I cracked the case in no time.”

Lisa sighed. “It’s fine, I guess. Sounds important.” She checked her phone while Jake lead her inside, just now seeing the messages he’d sent her.

_sry_

_stuck at work_

_capn needs me_

_still coming tho_

Immediately, she felt a little guilty for almost leaving. The way he described it to her, he was pretty important at his precinct, so she decided to let it slide.

Jake told her all about his latest bust where he had to chase a gang leader all the way up to the roof of a huge building. When he came to the end of his story, the sound of laughter sounded over from a nearby table. Lisa would probably have overheard it but Jake’s head shot around so fast Lisa feared it might break his neck.

“Oh my god-“ Jake’s mouth was wide open, his eyes twinkling. “Oooh, this is _perfect_!”

She looked at him quizzically but he was too occupied turning around every other second to check if what he’d spotted was still there.

Since he didn’t seem to offer an explanation anytime soon, she took matter into her own hands. “What’s going on?”

“It’s Santiago! She’s here. On a date.” He was grinning like a child who had just found a way to get all the sweets from the machine for free.

“Santiago?” The name triggered a memory somewhere in her mind, connected to some larger part of their conversation at Shaw’s. “Isn’t that the partner you were complaining about?”

The way his grin grew even broader at her question told her she was right. “Yes, and we are holding her fate in our hands, Lisa.”

“How so?” It wasn’t like this night couldn’t get interesting, it was just that… well, since Jake had made his Discovery Of The Week (or maybe year, judging by his excitement), he hadn’t given her any proper look anymore. This dress was one of her favorites, bright red and cut out at all the right places, and she’d spent at least an hour on her hair and make-up (granted, not one of her longest sessions by far, but still, she’d made some kind of effort). And now his focus lay solely on what kind of prank he could play his partner. Who, by the way, was the woman with the gorgeous hair from before, the one shortly waiting for her date outside. A very small part of Lisa started to feel self-conscious, for a reason she didn’t quite get. She pushed it aside and instead concentrated on her menu.

When the waiter arrived to take their order, Jake came to the startling realization that they were, in fact, at a restaurant – where there was food. Which he had to order. From the menu in front of him. That he hadn’t given more than a side-eye yet.

Lisa ordered her pasta while Jake gave the menu one last look before he ordered a large amount of chicken fingers, making Lisa feel obligated to throw the waiter an apologetic look.

“So…” she started, keen on opening a whole other topic than _Santiago_. “Did you by any chance read that article about the trend of celebrities going into politics?”

“Nah, probably not, I don’t read. Do you think the waiter will play along and bring Amy snails for dessert?” So much for her trying to steer the conversation in another direction.

She kept trying… but to no avail. When the waiter brought their drinks, he somehow found a way to turn her question about all the places he’d traveled to into a game of How Far Would The Waiter Go To Annoy Amy Santiago On His Behalf So That He Could Enjoy The Show From A Distance And Make Up An Even Better Prank. Shortly before their food arrived, she remembered what his favorite movie was and actually managed to get his attention. Although maybe at least ten minutes of talking about _Die Hard_ later, when the plates were set down in front of them, his face lit up.

“I have the _perfectest_ idea,” he told her and retrieved his phone from his pocket.

Lisa scowled and poked around in her food, her appetite and motivation to keep going with this date completely gone by now.

Jake turned around in his seat and held his phone to his ear, grinning mischievously. He watched with delight as poor Santiago noticed her phone ring.

No, wait, Lisa thought, why did she pity the woman? _She_ was the reason her date was going this awful, after all. Although… Well, although s _he_ wasn’t the one completely absorbed in something _other_ than _Lisa_.

When Jake got up from their table to directly speak to his partner and her date, she had enough. She was bored and for some reason felt like a second choice.

She was already out of the door and stomping down the stairs to the sidewalk when she heard her name. A second later, Jake caught up to her.

“Hey, why are you leaving?” Lisa huffed. As if that wasn’t clear by now.

“Seriously?” she asked and crossed her arms. “ _Why don’t you ask Santiago_?” She was acting petty and she knew it, but she didn’t care. She should have gone for a rerun of _Gossip Girl_ instead of this.

“What do you mean? I played her a prank. It was fun… Right?” His face slowly fell into a frown.

Lisa sighed. “Jake, you’re a nice guy.”

“Uh-oh.”

“And you’re funny and you make people smile. But I don’t get why you go on dates when you’re constantly focused on another woman.”

“What- I’m not- I was only talking to Santiago for, like, a minute back there-“

“Jake, you were talking about her, like, ninety percent of the time.” She took a deep breath. “Even if it doesn’t mean anything, even if she’s really the worst and you’ve just been waiting forever to get back to her, whatever – little advice for future dates: it doesn’t make a good impression when whoever you’re with is permanently competing for your attention with someone else.” He looked slightly dumbstruck, not saying anything while she took the last steps to the pavement before she waved him goodbye – that was when he found his voice again.

“I do not like Amy!”

Lisa smiled back at him sweetly. “I never said that. Bye, Jake.”

He was still standing there when she turned the corner and stepped into a muddy puddle of New York rain. She rolled her eyes and let out a frustrated groan. _Stupid Jessica_.


End file.
